I had a couple of return items to take back to Lane Bryant today. One was a pair of sandals. Who woulda thunk my feet would lose weight. lol That isn't even my Non Scale Victory. My NSV came in the form that I was actually able to try on anything I wanted and it all fit. My very first NSV! I don't even care that what I tried on was 26/28's. That just tells me there is more to come. Or, more to lose.
As for my tears I will start by saying that the guilt I feel is unreal. Kelsee my neice/foster baby is now in Foster Care. I don't know if it is for the best or not. I feel she should at the very least be with family since she can't be with her mother. I also feel that I could have prevented this from happening and therefore my guilt. However, I am a single mother to an almost 3 year old in October and a 19 month old that was just diagnosed as autistic last Friday. My responsibility is to my children and making sure that I do everything that I possibly can for them with making any sacrifices. Unfortunately I don't think I can physically take on a 3rd child permanantly. Which could be a possibility if my brother and his wife do not follow the plan set out for them to get Kelsee back.
My brother and his wife seem to be on the right track to getting Kelsee back. The judge will seek to sever parental rights at their first mis-step or dirty urinalysis. They are currently enrolled in parenting classes, drug classes/counseling, and doing everything necessary to get Kelsee back. They have six months to do it in. The judge made it very clear today that they do not get any chances. First mistake and they will lose Kelsee.
I have been praying with all my might that God will bring Kelsee home. I sure hope my brother and his wife realize what is really at stake.
I actually thanked Kelsee's foster family today for taking care of her. I don't think my brother or his wife said anything to them. They seem really nice, a bit young, and very concerned for her well being. They seem to adore her. What more could you ask her? Their faces just light up talking about her. I'm a bit jealous that they have her. A bit disappointed in myself and extremely guilty that I can't handle a third child.
What an emotional day.