Blog Disclaimer

Blog Disclaimer: When I write I don't have an outline or such. I write off of the top of my head. I don't even bother to edit. If I were to edit I feel I would change the post entirely. I post what I feel at that given moment. It may even jump around a bit. Read at your own discretion. =)

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Post op visit.

- I lost 2 pounds since surgery on the 19th.  Dr didn't make any comment either way. I didn't ask either.  I wasn't concerned with losing weight.  I was only worried about healing.  Campbells Broccoli Cheese Soup minus any "chunk" is my best friend. 

- My port incision is much bigger than it looks. She explained its big underneath and that is why it still hurts when I get up and down, cough or sneeze, and even when I laugh.  I guess that too shall pass.  The stitches I have on the other incisions will eventually dissolve. Itching is normal.

- Thursday will be 2 weeks since surgery. I can start mushies.  Super excited but scared to death to try anything other than liquid.  I will start with some refried beans for dinner on Thursday.   I don't think I remember what they really taste like but I miss them.  Is that head hunger?

- Due to my constipation I need to sip, sip, sip.  My IBS will eventually adjust (hopefully) and won't teeter back & forth between constipation & diahrrea.

- Yes, it is normal to be able to drink all day long with no restriction.  Same for the soups I drink. As the Dr said "don't drink your calories". I can say that has never been my problem.  She also said just because you can drink it doesn't mean you should. 

- The scariest thing I learned today is I absolutely have to have an antacid daily for at least six months.  My protonix copay went up to $60/month. She said I could take omperazole (generic Prilosec).  I did not know that the band can erode and that is why an antacid is necessary.  Here I was thinking "wow! I don't have heartburn anymore".  I will take one tonight that is for sure. 

- I will have an adjustment before I can start solids.  At about the 6 week mark. So mushies it will be for a few more weeks. Then a fill. Then liquids for 2 days. Then I can start solids.  Who would have thought solids would scare the heck out of me. 

- Definitely have to work on no drinking 30 mins before a meal and an hour after a meal. 

- I also need to remember to drink my soup slower.  Especially once I start my mushies. 

- I ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO INCREASE MY PROTEIN CONSUMPTION.  Why is that the hardest thing to do?

Have a great day all!

Monday, August 30, 2010

NSV to tears.

I had a couple of return items to take back to Lane Bryant today. One was a pair of sandals. Who woulda thunk my feet would lose weight.  lol That isn't even my Non Scale Victory.  My NSV came in the form that I was actually able to try on anything I wanted and it all fit. My very first NSV!  I don't even care that what I tried on was 26/28's. That just tells me there is more to come.  Or, more to lose. 

As for my tears I will start by saying that the guilt I feel is unreal.   Kelsee my neice/foster baby is now in Foster Care. I don't know if it is for the best or not. I feel she should at the very least be with family since she can't be with her mother.  I also feel that I could have prevented this from happening and therefore my guilt. However, I am a single mother to an almost 3 year old in October and a 19 month old that was just diagnosed as autistic last Friday. My responsibility is to my children and making sure that I do everything that I possibly can for them with making any sacrifices. Unfortunately I don't think I can physically take on a 3rd child permanantly.  Which could be a possibility if my brother and his wife do not follow the plan set out for them to get Kelsee back.

My brother and his wife seem to be on the right track to getting Kelsee back. The judge will seek to sever parental rights at their first mis-step or dirty urinalysis. They are currently enrolled in parenting classes, drug classes/counseling, and doing everything necessary to get Kelsee back.  They have six months to do it in.   The judge made it very clear today that they do not get any chances. First mistake and they will lose Kelsee. 

I have been praying with all my might that God will bring Kelsee home.  I sure hope my brother and his wife realize what is really at stake. 

I actually thanked Kelsee's foster family today for taking care of her. I don't think my brother or his wife said anything to them. They seem really nice, a bit young, and very concerned for her well being. They seem to adore her.  What more could you ask her?  Their faces just light up talking about her. I'm a bit jealous that they have her.  A bit disappointed in myself and extremely guilty that I can't handle a third child. 

What an emotional day. 

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Feeling so much better!

I am glad that I am finally feeling better.  Yay!

The gas bubbles are gone for the most part.  I stopped taking pain pills on Friday.  I can sleep on either side. I am finally over wishing I hadn't had surgery.  I am still bloated. I have flucuated on weight. Lost 4 gained 2.  Decided I am not getting back on until my post op appointment on Tuesday. I still find it very hard to bend over or pick something up off of the floor. 

It felt so good to give my daughters a bath yesterday. First time since sugery that I felt like their mother. I have had a tremendous anount of help but I missed being the mother to my children. I have been alone since Thursday night and love it.  I have been lifting my daughters even though I am not supposed to.  I "think" I am only using my arms.  Lifting no more than ten pounds for weeks is a bit unrealistic when you have small children.

Ron and I went to a birthday party last night. It felt great to dress up and look better than I have in quite some time.  Ron was quite pleased with the results. I can't wait til we go to Vegas next month. I am already feeling better about myself and will definitely be feeling better physically since it will be 3 weeks post op. 

Hope to be back to the blogging world. 

Have a great night all. 

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

6 days post op

I am miserable. The gas in my abdomen has not dissipated. It travels in huge bubbles about the size of a melon and reshapes my abdomen.  Gas-X did nothing. Mylanta gas did nothing.  Last night is the first night I actually cried. How can I have gotten worse?  I haven't had a bowel movement either. I emailed the Bariatric Nurse today and she thinks I may be constipated and to try a suppository.  I'm going to try to tough this out. 
I have second guessed my decision especially after last night.  Ron stopped what he was doing last night at 9pm to run to the store to get me Mylanta Gas.  I was laying in bed when he showed up and I couldn't even scoot over to give him some room on the bed.  Have I told you lately he is amazing?  
Ron needs some lovins sent his way too. His dog Lucky might need his other ACL fixed we will find out Friday. Ron's older dog didn't have a good day on Monday and he is actually considering if the time has come to put her down. My heart hurts for him. 
All of the support you have shown is such a blessing. I know I am not alone. "This too shall pass". I just can't wait for it to literally pass. 
Good night my friends!

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Recovery Is Slow

Hello all, Ron again.  Angela's recovery is off to a slow start - she had expected it would go easier than it has.  The big problem right now seems to be a gas pocket around the main incision area that just won't seem to go away.  It's causing a lot of pain, especially while getting up or sitting down.  She'll be talking to the Doc about it tomorrow.  Hopefully it turns out to be something minor.

Everything else is healing up well, and once she gets on her feet she gets around alright.  We should also hear the results of the blood work either tomorrow or Tuesday.  When I know more, you'll know more.  Until next time, take care!

Friday, August 20, 2010

Home Again - Yay!

Hello all, Ron again with today's report...

I went to see Angela again at a little after 1:00 today.  Although still in some pain, she was getting around much better.  Up to 6 laps around the hospital floor, she told me.  We did 3 laps while I was there, then waited for the nurse to come around and go through the discharge instructions with her.  Almost everything looks normal, the exception being an elevated white blood cell count.  Not sure what is behind this, so tomorrow she goes in for some bloodwork.

After getting home, I went out shopping for some OTC meds she needed, and run a few errands of my own.  By the time I got back to her place, Angela was taking a nap.  A couple of her friends were there, and wanted to wake her, but I said no.  She needed the rest.  So we passed the time watching the football game.

By the end of the game there was still no sign of Angela.  I figured she was going to snooze the night away, so I took my leave.  She called a couple of hours later, just long enough to let me know she was doing alright, then headed back to bed again.  Her girls will be joining her again tomorrow, so she needs all the rest she can get now.  Speaking of rest, it's about time I get my own.  So good night all, and I'll check in again tomorrow.

P.S.:  Though Angela can't write her blogs at the moment, she can read the comments.  She (and I) thank you so very much for all of your support and encouragement.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

The End of the Beginning

Hello friends, my name is Ron, and I'll be your guest blogger until Angela has recovered enough to resume her entries.

Today, her operation finally happened.  Angela and I arrived at the hospital at 7:30 a.m., and the staff wenth through the standard pre-op checkout and questionnaire.  She thinks I didn't hear her pre-lap band weight, but I did.  No, I won't reveal it - I might want to use it for blackmail at a later date :)  Once all the paperwork was in order, she went into surgery at a little after 10:00 a.m. local time.

All went well, and we (me, her Mom, sister, and BFF) met her as she came into post-op at around 2:00 p.m.  She was pretty sleepy, still under the influence of the anesthesia.  They prescribe walking every 4 hours as part of the post-op.  Angela was still pretty doped up at the time of her first excursion (around 3:00 p.m.), and it only went about 8 feet before bringing her back to the bed.  The next one went much better, I'd say a good 150 feet or so.  She was still having some pain issues, mainly because she didn't understand how the morphine dispenser should work.  It allows you to give yourself a very minor dose every 9 minutes or as you need it.  She hadn't hit the button for 3 hours!

BFF and sister visited again later in the day, and I left her snoozing at around 8:45 this evening.  And so, the real "life with the lap band" story begins.  As Winston Churchill once said, "This may not be the beginning of the end, but it is, I think, the end of the beginning."

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Saying goodbye to the old me on the day before surgery.

Today is my day before surgery.  It seems almost as significant of a day as tomorrow will be.

Today is the last day of my old life and that is what makes today so significant.  I can still back out of surgery and go take care of that food craving then I can go back to being me.  The fat me.  The me that will probably not be around to raise my daughters.  The me that is not wanting to be fat.   The me that wishes I would never have gained the weight I gained since high school.  That me is now gone. 

I have battled all of my inner food demons since may.  I gave in a few time, but ultimately I won!   I am now ready to begin my new life.  I am ready to be live long enough to hopefully see my duaghters have chidlren.  I am ready to be the thinner me I used to be.  I am ready to "want" to be me instead of wishing I "wasn't like this".  I am ready!

Watch out world, A BETTER ME is coming out!!!

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

My head is spining around and around

Just got the call from the hospital with my final instructions.  I am to arrive at the hospital at 7:30 am.  Surgery is scheduled for 9am Thursday.   The nurse today also asked if I wanted to post pone my surgery because of Kelsee.  I said I was ready.  Now I am wondering if I am going to get there and they aren't going to do the surgery.  I will have a rather large support system with me at the hospital.  My sister, my mom, my friends and my Ron.  :)  Once the Bariatric nurse sees my support system I think she will understand I am ready. 

Today I meet with CPS at 5:30 pm in regards to Kelsee.  I have asked CPS if the mom could move in with me.  After two days of dropping of 3 children and 1 dog I realize that I cannot do this long term.  I will find out how CPS wants to handle this and what the restrictions are and what my options are if I need to ask the mom to leave.  I will admit, I can use the help of an extra body after surgery.  Once I don't need her how am I going to feel?  I laid down some rules with Bio Mom and the first one was... There will only be one mom to the girls and that is me.  She is ok with it, she has no choice.  It must kill her to know she gave birth to them, but they call me mommy.  Hopefully she will learn. 

I have lost 43 pounds as of this morning since May 18th.  14 of those pounds came of during pre-op diet.  WOW!!!  I still find it hard to believe I have actually lost that weight.  My clothes look horrible on me.  Ron tells me it is just a temporary inconvenience.  My amazing man continues to amaze me. 

Ron and I went to lunch over the weekend.  I ordered a fried chicken strip salad.  Yes, I did order it.  Only after having Ron pick out which salad I was having since he was going to eat the "BAD" parts.  Once I got my salad I proceeded to strip it down.  All the chicken went on one plate and croutons on another.  When we were done eating I made a phone call.  While on the phone I picked up a crouton and stuck it in my mouth without even thinking.  Yes, I did that too.  lol  I did realize I had done it but I didn't spit the crouton out until I had sucked all the flavor out of it.  I asked Ron if he saw, he said yes and that it made him chuckle.  That crouton was the final "thing" that made me realize I have definitely made the right decision to have lap band surgery.  Yes, I was contemplating canceling.  One crouton changed all of that. 

I am writing this as I eat my last lunch salad for a few weeks.  I think my last meal tonight will be a cucumber.  lol  I know my journey has only begun.  Yet, I feel I am where I am because of the decision I made years ago to have a medical intervention done for my weight.  I am ready to be a better me!

Things I have given up and don't really miss. Homemade folded chicken tacos.  I LOVE them.  Will I be able to cook them for my family?  I hope so, they love them more than I do.  PIZZA, I miss you terribly.  Thank you for the many years we have had.  I am sure I will "visit" with you again.  All else, well... it is what it is. 

Have a great day everyone!

Monday, August 16, 2010

60 Hours or so til surgery.

Thursday, August 19th at 9:00 am I will be having surgery.  I have to admit, I am a bit nervous.  The excitement is definitely starting to settle in.  I am looking forward to my new life.  The pre-op diet was not as hard as I thought it would be.  I will post how much weight I lost later in the week from it. 

I still can't believe my day is here.  I started this journey so long ago and here I am.  The absolute worst part of the whole thing was awaiting insurance authorization.  My new life is almost here.  I am already a better me and will only get better.  "If I wasn't meant to fly, I wouldn't have these wings". That's how I feel today.

Rebecca, the Bariatric Surgery nurse just called me.  She said "a little birdie" told her I had become a foster mom again on Saturday.  She wanted to see if I wanted to post pone my surgery.  Heck no!!! I am super mom.  I have magical powers.  I am sure all you other mothers can relate.  lol

Anyways, my brother and their wife had another baby last Thursday night.  Her name is Kelsee.  Friday CPS showed up to remove her from their custody.  Of course I stepped up.  She is my blood.  I am sure if I would have been able to talk to CPS over the phone I would not have stepped up.  That is just not how I handle things.  I have to be in a middle of it and hear it from the horse per se.  What really happened is I glanced at Kelsee and I knew I would not let her go to a foster family/strangers.  She was coming home.  Yes, I took her in 5 days before my surgery.  At least she is under 10 pounds which is my max lifting weight.  =)  As for the "little birdie", it was the social worker from the hospital concerned about me.  The wonderful nurse that I have felt she needed to check in to make sure I was up to going through with it this week.  My dysfunctional family will always unite as a single unit when the need arises.  I will admit, they are all against this but will support me and love Kelsee. I have no worries about how my daughters and foster daughter will be cared for while I am in the hospital.  On top of that I have some of the most amazing friends.  Thank you D, Kim & Sandi.  (alphabetical order... lol)  Love you all!!!

Here are the dynamics of my daughters.  Their parents are my brother and his wife.  I became a foster mom to Leeah first, then Kaylee.  My life has never been as complete and content until I "got" my girls.  To my angels that God gave me, I love you with all my heart and will never stop.  Kelsee, you are also a precious angel that I will love until eternity.

Looking forward to my life with Lap Band.

Ron, thank you for being the man that you are and understanding how I had to bring Kelsee home with me.  See you tonight for my goodnight hug and kiss.  <3

Southern Bandita

Hi everyone, I want to tell you about Southern Bandita, she is currently awaiting insurance approval.  She is also new like me to the blogging world.  How she found me I don't know.  I was her first follower she needs more.  Lets help her out ladies.  Her information is below.  (thanks for the catch Grace!)

Meli called it pay it forward.  Drazil did it for her and Meli did it for me.

Have a great day everyone!

Hot Mom

I have to be honest... I have another reason for having lap bad surgery.  I want to be the Hot Mom at school when I drop off my children.  For those of you that are new to my blog, I adopted my daughters. My girls are 1 and 2 years old, and I am 41.  Naturally all of the moms at  school are going to be young and have great figures.  I told Ron that I want to be able to have all those young moms look at me and say "WOW!!! I want to look like that when I am 50".  I see the weight I am losing and now the vanity is really starting to kick in. 

Thursday, August 12, 2010

He calls me Sweetheart

I haven't been sleeping at all this week.  I want to say that I am not nervous about my surgery date but I know I am.  I lay awake tossing and turning trying to get comfortable and a million thoughts run through mind.  Lately I find myself going between a few things surgery, my girls, and Ron. Not necessarily in that order. 

After sneaking into the girls room and watching them sleep for a bit I went back to bed feeling so blessed with my life.  I can't remember the last time I felt so content with my life.  Let me tell you, I have some "issues" in my life.  Some might even say they are major.  To me, it is just my life. It is what it is.  So, I take this blissful feeling back to bed and I start thinking about Ron.  I felt so great after talking to him on the phone last night.  Needless to say I rambled on about me, myself and I... he listened.  I felt like the luckiest woman on the earth to have a man such as he is "pay attention" to my ramblings. I miss him. I just saw him on Sunday and it feels like an eternity since I laid my head on his shoulder and leaned against him.  Both of our alarms go off at 4:30 am so we can get to work on time so we rarely see each other Monday through Wednesday.  He has a commute and I have the girls to wake up.  Plus I not only drop the girls off at daycare but I drop my dog off at my parents so she won't be alone.

I starting thinking about Ron and my blissful feeling changed.  I haven't found the right word for it quite yet.  I'm writing this out hoping the right word will come to mind.  I met him at my heaviest in May.  When we first starting communicating it was just getting to know each other info back and forth.  Then he says he would like to "meet".  Oh heck! Here came the time for me to tell him I am a LARGE WOMAN! He said I had a "pretty face" which I have always called the kiss of death, and thought we should meet anyways and see how it went.  I enjoyed myself and he did too.  We exchanged numbers.  That was three months ago.  I don't think more than a handful of days have gone by that I haven't at the very least spoken with him.  He has become a constant and I look forward to ending each of my nights with the sound of his voice.

Ron and I had a conversation a few days back and it was along the lines of I don't believe in love.  He said he would settle for lust.  At least that is the gist of how I remember it.  He is a romantic and still believes in the fairytale.  I love that about him.  I have become cynical about love in my older age.  I see what my friends have gone through and I know what I have gone through and it has changed how I feel about love.  My friend Blondie will tell you I fall in love ALL the time and for ALL the wrong reasons.  That was the old me or so I think.

Ron and I are establishing a relationship that is unlike any I have ever had before.  It amazes me that this is really happening.  My ex-husband was dating someone when I met him.  I did not know it at the time.  He told me after the fact.  That conversation went along the lines of I chose you because you gave better sex.  I should have known I was doomed.  Another ex called me Bunny and not because of my poop (thanks Drazil  lol).  Ron is different. He is the most intelligent man I have ever met.  His background is unbelievable and here he is dating me.  I am a bit dingy at times and I absolutely hate that it happens.  I think he will vouch for that one.  I guess you can say I make him laugh. Maybe this is what mature love is supposed to be like.  OMG did I just say love???  Okay, I must have meant mature relationships.  lol

The things I love about him, he took a chance on me and accepted me as I was.  He is supportive of my surgery and me.  He lets my girls climb all over him and draws them spiders.  He bought them a Muppet Movie and we all sat and watched it.  It was his choice.  :)  He makes me feel like the most special person in the world.  He is amazing and he amazes me. I also want to say that because of how I feel about him and how he is I feel more confident going into this surgery.  I told him last night I was doing it for my girls first, for me second, and he was third because I wanted to look good for him.  Of course the amazing Ron I know said he was fine with being third.  I'm telling you, he IS amazing!

The best part is he calls me Sweetheart.   

I will end this by saying I definitely feel more than lust.

"The most eloquent silence is that of two mouths meeting in a kiss." ~ Unknown ~

Is this really happening?

I have lost 35 pounds since May 18th which was the first visit to the Lap Band Surgeon.  A part of me can't believe I have lost the weight.  I still see myself at my heaviest.  I can tell my clothes are not fitting like before.  So, I had a "moment" last night during my restless, sleepless night of laying in bed where I asked myself "why am I having surgery if I can lose the weight"?  OH YEAH! This has kicked my butt.  Not to mention I can never keep the weight off. 

Ron and I went shopping the other day at Lane Bryant, there was a dress I really wanted that was a size smaller than what I normally wear.  I thought that dress would look really cute in Vegas next month.  I didn't purchase it.  However, I kept thinking about how I wanted that dress so I went and bought it.  Went to my moms and it slid right on.  Yay! for me.  Then I get home and try it on, it looks sloppy it is definitely  too big.  The dress has a side zipper and it just slipped right on, obviously its too big.  It will be going back to the store.  :)

This morning, I reached in to my bra drawer and pulled out an old bra that didn't fit.  Guess what??? I am wearing it and it is super comfy.  Granted the price I am paying for this bra is smaller boobs. lol

Yes! this is really happening to me.  I am stunned and amazed at the same time.  Amazed I can lose the weight.  Stunned that I gained the weight i just lost in a 2 year period.

My thoughts on all of this... I have definitely made the right decision to have surgery.

Have a great day all!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

My motivation

This will be the picture I take with me to the hospital for surgery.  We were at Sam's Club buying salad when I found those dolls.  The look on my oldest daughter's face says it all.  I love my girls.  I am doing this for you two angels that make my life worth living.  I love you "L" & "K"!  I have told them that the dolls hold a piece of my heart that is just for them.  They are now sleeping with the dolls every night.  I think the dolls found their way into our shopping cart so that when they stay at Aunt Pat's house while I am in the hospital it will be easier for them.  Aunt Pat has been my mom's friend for about 30 years and is now the "other" mama to my girls while I am at work. We all love Aunt Pat!

My dear friend Rose from High School is a professional Photographer.  She took this picture of my girls last month.  "L" is an amazing big sister! 

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Scale moved!

I decided to get on the scale last night.  I have lost another 3 pounds.  I was told that on this particular pre-op diet you could lose 10 to 15 pounds.  I can see how that can happen.  I have given it some thought and realized I hadn't been taking my medication over the weekend.  One of my meds is a diuretic.  I must have been retaining some extra fluid.  I am happy to see the numbers on the scale change.  It makes me feel this pre-op diet isn't all for nothing since I can't see my liver to see the results.

Ron, (he used to be called "Babe"), asked me if the scale moved in the right direction.  lol   I seem to find myself sharing everything I am going through and feeling with either Ron or "D".  I am blessed to have them in my life.  I told Ron last night I was hungry, he said something along the lines of its understandable.  "D" on the other hand keeps reminding me basically that I have to do my part before the surgery or I will be cut open and closed back up with no surgery.  I told "D" I am just complaining as loud as I can!!! 

Yesterday I had to run to Walmart.  I literally stopped in the Italian food section and picked up pizza crust to buy everything I needed for homemade pizza.   I didn't buy any of it.  :)  I am very proud of myself.  I proved to myself once again that I am ready for the lifestyle change.  I will admit pizza still sounds good.  :)

Have a great day!

Monday, August 9, 2010

Ten more days and I want pizza!

I have 10 more days to go before surgery.  I am starting to feel a bit more excited than I am scared.  I can finally see the result of the weight I have lost.  I have been searching through my clothes for what I will wear on the day of surgery to keep as a reminder of my pre-surgery weight.  I found a new blouse I purchased online and could never fit into.  That made me feel good.  All of my pants are stretchy.  I am not sure what I am going to do about bottoms to refer to.  I know I won't be going out and buying some new ones just to keep as a reminder of my before weight.  

It has now been 5.5 days since I started the pre-op diet.  I am not starving. I can pretty much eat as much as I want as long as I stay in the accepted food list. I am hungry, more than likely because I can't eat whatever I want. My biggest problem is I want just "one more" taste of homemade pizza.  Notice, I didn't say one more bite.  I want a taste, which in my old life it could mean a few slices to the whole pizza.  I have come a long way and am realizing more and more each day that I am ready to make a lifestyle change.  I was frustrated for a bit over the pre-op diet since I wasn't seeing the scale move. So, I didn't get on the scale today either.  It hasn't moved since last Friday. :( 

Pre-op diet isn't the easiest thing on earth.  I am very restricted and somethings I just don't like.  I know I have hit a plateau. The last time I plateaued it was on salad.  I think my body shut down.   A co-worker brought it to my attention that I might be "starving" so I ate that night and the next morning I lost 1 pound.  I am not eating the recommended 800 calories a day I am supposed to be eating.  I am probably averaging about 300 or so.  That isn't my intention.  I am already tired of the protein shakes.  I have a serious texture problem when it comes to certain foods.  I know... how in the heck did I get so big???  I can have sugar free foods like pudding and jello.  I will admit the puddings taste good I just can't handle the texture in my mouth for very long.  It gags me.  The jello is worse.  I have a funny story about the jello.  I have been telling my 2 year old I am dieting and I have diet food.  I tried to eat a sugar free jello yesterday and I made it about half way through the container.  I decided to give the rest to my girls.  When I gave my oldest a spoonful she looked at it funny and said "its not diet anymore"?  Poor girl, I am warping her mind.  I also have to be careful to not say I don't like it either because then all of a sudden she won't like it and they looovvvee jello. 

Needless to say, I will stay on the pre-op diet and continue on for 8 more days.  Day 9 is only clear liquids (no protein shakes either).  Day 10 is Surgery.

I still want pizza. :(

Thursday, August 5, 2010

I am approved!!!

I just got off of the phone with The Care Coordination Department at BC/BS... I am approved!!!  The paperwork that I got for them was what they needed.  I have happy tears streaming down my cheeks as I type this.

Surgery is set for August 19th.  Good Lord willing!

What a happy day today is.

Hope you all have a wonderful day too!

Insurance request for more information

Well, I received the letter from the insurance company requesting more information yesterday.  Needless to say I am stressing.  When I talked with Rebecca the R.N. for the program she made it sound like they just wanted more of a history at my diet failures.  When I read the letter it looks like they want the information with the last two years.  Which my last Dr supervised diet ended in June 2008.  I was so worried about this.  I am not giving up.  No way.  I am going to pull my insurance records and gather up the information of when I saw the nutritionist.  When I went to the gym.  What they are requesting is "Clinical documentation of attempts to lose weight by non-operative means, including self directed dieting, nutritional counseling or commercial or hospital based weight loss programs within the past two years".  Yes, that part was in bold.  :(

As Rebecca says, stay on diet, stay on diet.  I did just that and I am still doing that.  I am ready and will continue to do my part to make surgery a success. 

Crossing my fingers and toes still. 

Have a great day!

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Day 1 Pre-Op Diet

I am ready!  I had my "last meal" last night.  I went to Applebees with my daughters, my sister, and her friend.  We had a great time.  I ordered a bacon cheeseburger with onion rings.  My meal was good.  It wasn't my best meal and it wasn't what I wanted once I tasted it.  I think the guilt was a bit much and I wasn't able to enjoy it as much as I thought I would.  Granted, I didn't know what I was craving as my "last meal" so maybe it wasn't what I wanted.  Actually, I think I am just done with the old me and ready to start this new life.  I will say, I didn't have my beer(s) last night.  I wasn't going to drink and drive with the girls and once I got home it was too late to drink since I wake up at 4:30 am. 

This morning, I have been drinking water.  I packaged my protein powders into baggie portions.  I also brought two salad bags with me for today and tomorrow.  My plan is to sip a protein shake until lunch time.  Lunch will be a salad, with fat free dressing and nothing else.  I will have another protein shake later in the day before the end of my work day.  Dinner will be an ice blended protein shake.   Maybe about 500 calories today.  I can have up to 800 calories a day.  Tonight I will go shopping for snack food.  Lets see, celery, carrots, more lettuce, etc.  Yummy!  I will also buy some tomatoes.  I might have to hide them from my 2 year old.  She loves them. 

Have a great day!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Ready to begin Preoperative diet.

I am writing this after the fact...

I had my final visit with my surgeon before surgery today.  I didn't gain any of the weight back that I lost over the last 2 months.  Yay!!! Tomorrow I start the pre-op diet.  That means I am 16 days away from surgery.  I still feel the same way both excited and scared.  I was very surprised that my surgeon remembered my daughter likes Tinkerbell.  Dr. Jensen gave me some Tinkerbell  socks for my daughter.   I knew I was in capable hands.  Now I know I am in the "right" hands. 

This past weekend I sampled some protein shakes.  I decided on three flavors to start with.  I got Cappuccino, Perfect Chocolate, and Strawberry Kiwi.  I am ready!  My 2 year old thinks when I use the blender I am getting a treat.  She likes my "diet food".  I hope she never has to learn what a diet is.  Good Lord willing, I will teach her how to eat properly.  Especially as I go through this major life change.  I had my friends try the shakes this past weekend too.  "Babe" doesn't think the shakes are bad.  My friend "D", well... does UGGGGH! say enough?

Overal, today was a great day!  The part about today that has me worried is Rebecca, the RN from the Bariatric Program called me, my insurance wants more information.  Of course they do.   It looks like all of the medical requirements are being met.  However, they want more diet history form me.  I have called Lindora in California (Thank you Cheryl) to have them search my records that date back to 1998.  I should have those in the next day or so.  As for the Atkins Diet, I have no documentation for that.  It was just a diet I did when I felt the desire to "try" again.  I have time frames because I would always diet before my vacations, but no "proof" that I did.

Still crossing my fingers (and toes).  Definitely keeping my chin up.  Rebecca says we just need to go to through hoops at this point.  We will not give up after coming this far.  At least it wasn't a flat out denial.  We are proceeding as if though everything is in order.  Worse case scenario is that surgery will get postponed a week or two. 

Have a great day!

For those of you wondering, Yes, I am planning one last binge.  I told the Nurse Rebecca I was going to have 2 beers tonight.  More than likely the last 2 of my life.  As for my "last meal", I can't decide.  The guilt of the beers is already weighing on me.  I will let you know tomorrow what I had.