I Wish Wednesday

My Wishes for today.

-   I wish, hope, and pray that Baby Isabella starts to feel better soon.  She isn't doing as well as she was and it is such a sad situation.  I wish she would even have the strength to cry.  She has now stopped crying.  God, you can't have her.  Please, don't take her.  We want to keep her here with us!

-   I wish I wasn't on mushies.  I have to do 6 weeks post op.  Tomorrow is only week 4.  I'm afraid more and more chicken skin incidents are going to happen.  

-   I wish I wasn't a weak person. I wish I had guts and a strong back bone.  I wish I could have talked about what I wanted to talk about last night, but I wasn't ready.  Nothing is stewing they are just thoughts that need to be shared. 

-   I wish the perfect place to move to would magically appear and that I could afford it.  I know I will be moving and I want a 3 bedroom, 2 bath for the girls and I.  I have already promised my oldest a fish when we get our new home.  theShe also wants her "own special bathroom".  I think it will be easier if they have their bathroom and I have mine.

-   I wish I wouldn't have gambled in Vegas.  I did have a ton of fun.  Okay, I wish I would have kept all the winnings in my pocket. 

-   These are my standard wishes.  To raise my children to be happy and strong individuals.  Be a better parent.  To become a domestic goddess.  To continue to be as happy as I am.  :)

Have a happy Wednesday everyone!   

Better than sex! and did I just do that?

The answer is YES! I DID DO IT.

I am embarassed to even admit it. However this blog is about my life with the lap band and this is a doozy of an I did it! I ran to the hospital after work to see baby Isabella. We didn't get to go in right away they were working on changing her lines and they needed a sterile environment. Anyways, after the visit I am on my way to pick up my girls and my mind immediately turns to what am I going to feed them for dinner. Its already an hour later and they should be eating about that time. There is a Church's Chicken on the way there. I stop and order the 11 piece leg & thigh special. I am thinking I can feed my girls and give all the legs to my dad and he will be happy & fed too.

We stop at my parents house & visit for a few minutes. As my dad is taking the legs out I see a crunchy piece and decide to put it in my mouth and suck out all the flavor then spit it out.  I am still on mushies so I know I can't swallow it.  Oh my goodness was the flavor absolutely delicious.  I had no problem spitting it out after I was satisfied. Its only been 5 weeks since I had anything so tastey.   2 weeks pre-op liquid diet and now post-op diet has been pretty bland. The girls and I say good bye and head home. My oldest wants her chickens, (yes, plural) now!  I can't blame her. Its smells so good and it tasted delicious. 

We are now home and I have to debone the chicken so the girls can eat it. I take the skin off for them too.  Well without thinking a piece of fried chicken skin made it into my mouth. This time unconsciously. Next thing I know I swallowed some. OH MY GOODNESS WHAT DID I JUST DO?  I can't even finish that thought because all of a sudden there is a huge pain in my chest along the breast bone. I spit out what is left in my mouth and start praying. Oh my, I just know I am going to die. It really hurts.  I keep deboneing the chicken my girls need to eat dinner. I can die after dinner. I start to feel better and I am calmer now so I can think a bit more clearly.  

This is my clear thought:  "I survived that. Why don't I just suck all of the rest of the fat off of the chicken skin". YES, I DID!  I chewed up all of the chicken skin to make sure I got all of the flavor out then spit it out. Yup, I sure did.  I was possessed I am telling you.  I don't know who or what possessed me but something sure as heck did.  Fried chicken is not my weakness pizza and Mexican food are.  I might have eaten fried chicken max of 3 times a year on average over my lifetime. Honestly, not my thing. If you happen to come across whatever possessed me please, don't send it back. I hope it doesn't try and have a visit with you either. :)

Do I feel ashamed? Yes, I do.

Do I regret it? Now I do as I burp it up and feel totally uncomfortable.

What was I thinking while I was doing it??? This is better than sex! 

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Leaving Las Vegas

I hate leaving Vegas. I LOVE Las Vegas. 

I hate leaving my money there.

I hated saying goodbye to my friends. 

I hated that I couldn't eat the food since I am still on mushies.  I really didn't miss the food.  Just wanted to taste what everyone was talking about. 

I hate that I didn't get to party with Anissa.

I hate that we were only their for two nights.

However, I am going back in March. I can't wait! 

Las Vegas

Having a blast. I can't believe I haven't seen my friends in so long. DeDe looks the same. Denise looks younger. Anissa looks hot!

The pic is Anissa and I. I don't even look like me I can see the weight loss in my face. I forgot I had bones. Lol

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Thousand Word Thursday

ALWAYS KISS ME GOODNIGHT! I fell in love with this sign when I first moved into this apartment. It tells me the way life should be. Or, at least the way I think life should be. You should always kiss goodnight whether it be you husband, boyfriend, partner, or especially your children. Those lips you kiss could be your last. Go on, you know you want to kiss so just reach on over and give your special someone a smooch. Let them know with your lips what your heart says.

I also have one of these over the girls bedroom door not as a reminder but as an affirmation. Each night we give kisses, noseies, butterfly kisses, hugs, and ojitos which is Spanish for batting your eyes. In that order too. Sometimes I get extra kisses on each cheek. Sometimes I give them a gazillion kisses and my 2 year old will tell me "too much, mommy", then of course she gets a few more.

Since I used this sign for my Thousand Word Thusday I will admit that I am needy and NEED the reassurance that the kiss gives me. Whew! that was a bit hard to admit. :) My name is Angela and I am a kiss addict.

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I Wish Wednesday.

My first time participating in I wish Wednesday.

- I wish my dad wasn't in the emergency room right now.  Or, I wish my sister or I were with him.  I could take it further and wish my dad wasn't paralyzed from the waist down.  I wish he wouldn't have been an auto mechanic and that the jack didn't break and pin him under the motorhome and paralyze him at the age of 41.  My age to be exact.  I wish my mom and dad could have lived their years out traveling in a motorhome as they always dreamed.  On a bright side my dad has been paralyzed for 20 years and my mom found his first bed sore last week.  That says he has been taking good care of himself.  However, they are currently looking for a blood clot.  If the xrays come back negative they will do a cat scan.  There is a possibility this could be from the bed sore.  I love you dad!

- I wish Baby Isabella would have stayed in my niece's belly until her time "cooking" was done.  Bright side of that is Baby Isabella is doing as good as can be expected for a premie.

- I wish I didn't still feel guilty that Baby Kelsee is not with me or her biological sisters. 

- I wish my sister would consider renting a house with me instead of two separate homes.  We could each save some money and I would have my sister with me all the time.

- I wish I didn't have these crazy thoughts running through my head that have obsessed me for the last couple of days.  I am not ready to share yet.  I will when the time is right.  I have shared with "D" and either she is such a good friend she has my back and agrees or she is just telling me she does.  Either way, Thank you "D"!

- I wish for World Peace.  I really, really do!

- My greatest wish is to raise my children to be happy  and find the good in any circumstance. 


- I wish my daughters would learn that life is what they make it.  Life isn't what has been "dealt" to them and that they will rise above their obstacles.  

- I too wish I was a better mother.  When I was asked why I would be the best person to adopt my daughters this is what I said... "I am sure that someone else could provide for them better.  I am sure that someone else could parent better than I will.  However, NO ONE will love them the way that I do".  Sometimes I wish I didn't work ten hour days and could spend a few extra hours with them on a work night so I could just listen to them and hold them tight.  Sometimes I wish I could provide better for them and give them the house that they deserve instead of our tiny apartment.  Sometimes I wish I wouldn't yell at them since they are only 1 and almost 3.  Sometimes I wish I had more patience.  Sometimes I wish everyday was a good day.  Sometimes I wish Kaylee was an easy baby like her sister Leeah was. Sometimes I wish I could sleep a whole night without one of the girls waking up in the middle of the night.  Sometimes I wish there were just more hours a day so I could get my "fill" of them before going to bed.  Sometimes I wish they would never grow up.  I love my girls!!!

- I wish I was a Domestic Goddess.  I wish I wasn't a slob and hated laundry.  I wish I liked to clean.  I wish I was disciplined enough to realize that I HAVE TO DO LAUNDRY IN A TIMELY MANNER!!! I wish I liked to fold and put away laundry if it were clean. I wish I ran the vacuum more.  I wish the cat didn't use a litter box.  I wish I was more organized at home.  Heck, I even wish my van was clean on the inside. 

- I wish I had the chance to find out if money would really make me happier.  lol

- I also wish to continue to be as happy in the future as I have been in the last year.  Life is good and God is GREAT!!!

I think that may be all of the wishing that is going through my head at the moment.  Hopefully you won't be seeing the same wishing next Wednesday. 

Happy wishing everyone!